Quote of the Day: I am profoundly uncertain about how to write. I know what I love or what I like, because it’s a direct, passionate response. But when I write I’m very uncertain whether it’s good enough. That is, of course, the writer’s agony. – Susan Sontag
I have joined the Insecure Writer’s Support Group started by the super Ninja writer, Alex J. Cavanaugh. (Click the badge on the right to learn more and read about other writers and their insecurities.) It started in September, but it was during my birthday week, and I was feeling less insecure at the time, due to all the celebrating, so I’m starting today. I searched my photos for something to depict the insecurities I feel.
It’s not a great shot. I was taking a walk in the neighborhood and brought my camera because we are at peak fall colors. A car drove by, kicking up dust and creating a haze. The gravel road, the haze, the dust in my eyes, the thickness in the air as I take a breath – that’s what my insecurities feel like. I’m not sure if I’m even on the right path.
I went to the children’s writers conference in Grand Forks, but thought maybe I don’t really belong there because I haven’t had any books for kids or teens published. I’ve been working on a play that is for adults, although I do have an 18-year-old girl in it.
As I was writing my first full-length play, Coffee Shop Confessions, I’d go to the Coco Moon where I imagined it would be performed. As I walked through the door, I could picture the “real” theater people standing outside, banging on the windows, heckling me, saying “Who are you to write a play?” ha ha ha ha. “You don’t have any training or theater credentials.” pfftt. They’d stick out their tongues and make rude gestures. “You don’t belong!” They’d shout.
So, I brought along a friend, at first, to help quiet the voices. She actually laughed at them. That shut them right up. I learned. I gained confidence. I heard her always encouraging voice saying, “Of course, you can.” Then, I shut off my inner critic. Snapped her mouth shut and zipped her lip. I closed the shades on those hecklers, and got down to business. You see, I had other voices in my head, the voices of my characters, and they wanted to get out. They had stories to tell, lives to share, and relationships to be formed.
And, now, it’s done. I’m ready to cast the show and watch it come to life. Right here, in my local coffee shop.
Here I am explaining my play to this young woman. She’s not acting here, she was truly interested. In fact, she inspired the character Micki. Also, the photographer is Joey Halvorson who was doing a photo shoot for my article in Her Voice. Joey’s voice offered encouragement that day. She also used it to bring my character Lolly to life at a table reading of the script, and will be Lolly when it’s finally performed.
Now, all I can hear in my head is I get by with a little help from my friends! Thanks, Beatles! (JeMA, Joey, Roxane, and all my friends who kept saying, “Of course, you can!”)
Journaling Prompt: Who are your cheerleaders? Who tells you that you can do it? Who quiets those insecure voices in your head?
Oh it’s so true, Mary. Sometimes we have to consciously choose which voices to listen to. Those characters are usually speaking louder than the naysayers, thankfully.
My cheerleaders are definitely my family, my daughters and husband. At this stage of the game, I don’t think they’d let me stop even if I wanted to!
I have meant to let you know I am here reading at times, but today I just had to stop by to say Congrats to you!! I saw The Help last night- finally. Loved it! But also heard that the author always told her friend she’d write a book and he’d reply, and I’ll make it into a movie! And they did!! And now, so have you!
Well, I haven’t quieted those voices, but am learning, that its okay to be afraid, but do it anyway. The rest will take care of itself!
It has helped me immensely to recognize the voices as “old”–remnants of old wounds–and to expect they will show up. I used to spend a lot of energy being surprised and despairing that the critical voice was back, but that gave it even more power. Making room for it, but still going on and doing what I love, what I value, makes my confidence grow. It’s hard, but I’m glad I have a friend who is on the same journey of dealing with old pain(the one I met through poetry), and we cheer each other on. Her voice usually tells her she’s going to the electric chair. She says, “If that makes you happy, go ahead and send me, but I’m going to keep writing anyway.”
My husband and friends are my cheerleaders. My family. But there is only one voice that quiets the insecurity in me.
My husband. 😀 He’s the best at getting those voices to just shut up.
Good luck to you! And I’m a new follower through the IWSG. 😀
Mary, and I won’t stop whispering the encouragement that you rightly deserve. And I mean that! You know I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true. I just speak what I see, and I see that you are a woman chasing a dream that is not elusive. It’s real and you are getting closer and closer to something big. One day at a time, one step at a time, and all of those steps and days will add up to something bigger. You’ll look back and be amazed and know that the journey was part of the beauty of it all. I’m glad we’re on this journey together! You’ve been a wonderfully encouraging voice to me too; a vital voice. Thanks for being there.
That’s so cool – now I can say I know a playwright! I hope you get it made. I know you can!
I now have a lot of writers, blogger buddies, and readers who tell me I can do it, but in the beginning, it was just my wife.
Real life cheerleaders are wonderful to keep close. My family and my friends are my best ones, and my blog buddies are great too!
I have lots of sisters and they’re all supportive. I love your coffee shop.
Sadly, I think it’s my blogging friends. There is no one in my everyday life whom I feel I can get writerly comfort from at the drop of a hat. It usually takes too much explanation. But with there writers, all I have to do is frown and they ‘get it’. :o) So glad you’ve got your cheerleaders! :o)
I love it! And I love your title… too cute! I love that your quieting the doubt and being bold. It’s the irony of a writer’s life. We have to be bold.
I think the writers in the blogoshere make amazing supporters. I’d be so discouraged without them.
Nice to meet you!
How beautiful that your friend quieted the voices until you could shut them up. I love that you’ve persisted even through critical voices and written to let your characters be heard! I would say my sister is my biggest cheerleader and my blogging friends.
My Blog
My husband, my son, my mom and dad – all wonderful supporters. And several lovely friends that always ask me ‘What are you writing now?’, keeps me spurred on.
BTW, I read Coffee Shop Confessions and as an educated, trained, award-winning, published playwright I just want to tell you, YOU DO BELONG! You’re a marvelous playwright, dah’ling girl!
Oh girl, I’m turnin’ green with envy…I’d love to of attended the Children’s Writers Conference.
I’m thrilled about your play. Woohoo, what an accomplishment to see your work come alive!
God bless ya and have an incredible day sweetie!!! :o)
Good luck on the play! You sound to me like you won’t give up on it…