Quote of the Day: We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves. – May Lamberton Becker
You know you’ve reached middle-age when you spend your Saturday night rolling yarn skeins into balls and hitting the sack by 10:00 p.m. My sister Nancy made the mitten and hat this winter while she was living on the farm. I think she was channeling her Pioneer Woman roots. She said they had stayed up much later the night before when their friends came over for penny poker and two, count’em, two pots of decaf coffee. Uff-da!
It was late Friday afternoon and my kids had friends over, playing indoors because of the rain, and I was feeling overcrowded, so I went two doors down and sat with my friend Lisa on her porch where the slow, soothing rain nearly put us to sleep.
During the summer, my four boys spend much of their time with the neighborhood boys, and they often end up in my house. The doorway is cluttered with shoes. The air is filled with their sweaty boy scent and talk that escalates above one another. They’re in and out and up and down and challenging the rules and the players and who’s in charge and getting water and eating all my snack food. And, I love them, and I admire their energy, but it’s hard to find a moment of peace. I knew it had been a long week of running here and there and feeding them and cleaning it up and allergy season still here, and sneezing, and having a headache, so that I snapped at Charlie when he was playing with the tape measure. But, I’ll tell you, when your nerves are shot and your head hurts, the grating sound of metal sets you off.
Then, with the door slamming behind them all on Friday night, I heard the ring of silence. I made myself some chicken, put in a movie, and fell asleep by 9:00 p.m.
I was up bright and early on Sat., so I had plenty of time to get my van’s oil changed and a tire rotation. I really know how to live it up when I have a weekend to myself.
After reading and napping in the afternoon, I thought I might be able to stay awake to watch a community theatre production at the local community college. So, I took myself out on a date. I saw It Runs in the Family, a British farce, put on by Midwesterners, so sometimes the accents were on and consistent, sometimes they weren’t. Sometimes the acting was good, sometimes, it was just shouting. But, hey, it’s community theatre, and I could tell that all the actors loved what they were doing, and I love watching people come alive in their art. I thought the old guy in the wheelchair was especially good. He was quirky and surprisingly agile when left alone with the drink table and the spray soda (got the female inspector in the arse), and the young man who played the punk kid was terrific. I spent much of the night wondering if all his tatoos were real, or if some were painted on for the show. They looked real to me.
The funniest part of the show was the guy sitting near me in my row. He LOVED the play. He thought it was hilarious. He laughed so loud and hard that he nearly coughed up a lung. In fact, at one point, before intermission, the woman in front of him got up and moved seats. I’m not sure if was his loud laugh or the fear of phlegm that sparked the move.
I’ve been given so much rhubarb that I spent two CD’s worth of music chopping it up and readying it for muffins and jam. It’s all yummy and worth the red fingers and cramps from holding the knife.
If I enter my kid-free weekends with a plan, or at least with the attitude of enjoying my solitude, I embrace the quiet and allow myself to be refueled.
The door slammed open at 5:00 p.m. Not 10 minutes past and the neighborhood boys started showing up. As the sun set, they all decided to play night games, and I am able to type this post. But, they better be back in by 10:00, or I’ll turn into a pumpkin. It’s getting past my bedtime.
Journaling Prompt: Are you able to enjoy solitude, or do you need a friend to accompany you when you go out or find yourself alone for a weekend?
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[I removed that comment because it included a glaring typo…]
Ha! Love how you ended this, Mary. And now you’ve reminded me that I have rhubarb that needs to be harvested. Thanks for the kick in the…arse? 🙂
Sounds like a lovely weekend. I don’t have kids, but my husband was away on business the other night and I took myself to a movie. Have you seen Bridesmaids? It’s pretty hilarious.
I feel like I was right there with you in this post… You’re very perceptive and I enjoyed reading these observations and weekend experiences. I especially liked the part about the man laughing.
Solitude and me have a funny relationship. Generally, when I’m feeling content emotionally, I love to be in solitude. If something is very much on my mind, I’ll feel the urge to speak to someone right away and get restless being alone.
I love solitude, especially to read, meditate, pray, drink tea, and listen to music, even if at times I resist these alone moments. Everything in moderation though 🙂
There’s nothing like a quiet afternoon in a busy life, is there? I think sometimes it’s the busy-ness that makes the solitude even more special as it fills the hours with a certain, interim, peacefulness. Glad you had a nice day 🙂
you need to have a weekend to yourself more often!
Love the quote because we DO. And we are our best dates, I think.
I like my wife to be with me. And I crash early on Friday nights.
I love the solitude–but I don’t get it often. 🙂
And I don’t think I’ve ever had rhubarb. Isn’t that funny?
I’ve always struggled with that. I can go to the movies alone — and have many times — I just don’t. I figure there are enough movies I haven’t seen on DVD and just watch at home. The thought of eating alone in a sit-down restaurant freaks me out. I feel like everyone’s staring at me, even though I know they aren’t. If my husband ever goes out of town, I relish the alone time, but when I lived alone I hated it! Too much of anything is what bugs me — just enough to make you appreciate it!
I most definitely enjoy solitude. I even go to the movies or out to lunch by myself now and then, not because there’s no one to invite along, but because I enjoy having time to myself. It’s a great time to free-write or read.
Either or. Doesn’t matter to me. I can be with someone or by myself and still enjoy quiet time and find myself. But I do need to be alone at times. There is no substitute for that.
I ate rhubarb for the first time when I met the hubby to be. His mama insisted on preparing it for me, because I had never eaten it before. (We don’t eat that in the Keys.)I must admit, my friend that it is an acquired taste, unlike say…chocolate! *wink*
I love riding in solitude. It is where I do my best thinking. I shall journal this, Mary. I have some great thoughts on it. (((hugs)))
I enjoy and need my solitude. In fact, I often can’t handle company but grin and bare it. (Good thing I’m not a mommy.)
xoRobyn
I enjoy being in my studio, alone, working on my mosaics. If I am expecting to be with someone and end up alone, my expectations can make it harder to enjoy solitude. But if I know my solitude will have intervals of companionship, it’s like a safety net to enjoy the time alone even more.
Hey Mary-
This story sounds like a definite period of a woman “settling” & loving the experience…
Rhubarb can actually taste good!?
Best,
Clara.
I love rhubarb. And I love solitude. The only thing is, I miss my daughter if we’re apart for too long (which is just a day). 🙂