Quote of the Day: So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ – the Message – have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives – words, actions, whatever – be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way. from The Message, Colossians 3:12-17
I wore that uncomfortable bra all the way from Brainerd to Omaha. The under wire was poking near my underarm. It was rubbing me the wrong way! I needed to discard that old thing. Although no one else really sees it, I’d know that what was underneath the outer covering needed to feel and look right. Purge out the old, put on something new!
I accompanied my friend on an inward-outward journey to Omaha because what’s inside of her has been rubbing her the wrong way for years. She suffers from depression, grew up in an alcoholic home, and is working very hard at getting healthy and living an authentic life. She was willing to go alone and meet with a highly skilled therapist who lives there. I thought about how hard that would be, to face your inner demons, then go to a hotel room all alone at night. I offered to be her travel companion. I gave her the gift of a loving friend.
While she counseled for two days for inner healing, to shed the old nettles that poked and prodded her life, I went shopping. Yes, I experienced retail therapy. Nothing like getting a new bra to lift your spirits. But, I also took time for myself – read a book, took a nap. Something many moms neglect to do. I hadn’t made myself so unavailable to my kids in years. Their Dad had to make arrangements to be “on call” for them. As you know, we tend to have an emergency now and then!
What’s underneath your outer appearance has everything to do with the way you feel. If it’s ugly and broken, purge it, and try on something new. If you need a professional to help you figure it out, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You deserve to have a life filled with good people, healthy living, comfort and peace.
On a related subject, Jeannie Campbell is a writer/therapist whose blog The Character Therapist is filled with great insight into people’s/character’s psyches. A recent post is on the top 10 reason’s characters stay in abusive relationships. Please read it and share the info with someone who needs it. Thanks.
Journaling Prompt: Is there something in your life that’s rubbing you the wrong way? What can you do for yourself today? What can you do to show love to a friend?
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How wonderfully supportive of you to accompany your friend. I’m sure she appreciated it, and your presence there was a help. You’re a shining light on friendship 🙂
Thank you, Joanne. I like being a light.
mary! thanks so much for your supportive comments! (and linking to my blog!). you always stop by and leave comments, and i read everyone, although i rarely have time to make it to other blogs. but your support means a lot….so thanks!
the Character Therapist
Jeannie, My pleasure. I appreciate you so much!
Great analogy! Hope your friend is doing better. Have a great weekend. :O)
Can you feel the long distant hug coming through the internet?? What a blessing you are to your friend and all of us in blogger world. You words really hit the mark when you share about the under garments. After my mastectomy I went braless for 15 months until I had my second stage reconstruction…there was no way I could fit a bra on comfortable over the hard “turtles” (expanders.) After I had the second stage reconstruction (my new soft girls), I went and purchased a new bra (do you know how hard it is to find a bra without underwire–don’t want to poke a hole in my new girls.) The first day I put my new girls in their new home was a huge “healing” day for me. My new girls are perky, I technically don’t ever have to wear a bra again, yet, that first day wearing a bra healed something inside of me that I wasn’t even aware was broken.
Thanks so much for sharing!
ps. I am glad you were able to get some “me” time.
Let’s not talk about my underwear, they are pretty sorry. I like yours though. Your post may guilt me into buying new. 🙂
BTW, you are a wonderful support system for your friend.
I have to echo Joanne, you’re a supportive friend, a shining light during a time of darkness. I guess we all have ‘things’ underneath that poke and irritate. I really hate to mention what’s bothering me these days, for it is trivial, but I’m fed up with neighbors taking their dogs for a walk and allowing them to pee on my lawn. I’ve tried being nice, I’ve tried pleading, but nothing works. They just don’t see the problem. But I enjoy yard work, enjoy seeing Nature at her best…and get irked at those brown pee spots when, get this, their lawns are perfect. Sorry for venting, but there it is!
Diane, My friend is healing and becoming such an inspiration to others!
Teresa, time for some undergarment assessment. How about the feel of something new?
Kim, thank you for sharing that story. Was it a moment of feeling “normal” again?
Kittie, What it comes down to is a feeling of disrespect. Sorry you have to deal with that as it mars your place of beauty and sanctuary.
Mary, I’m so glad you found a way to fill yourself up while helping another. And then to be brave enough to be so revealing so that others might learn from the experience; bringing things to light that are not always seen does have a tendency to heal and refresh. By the way, love the undergarments. I can picture you shopping for them, and throwing the old away — very symbolic. 🙂
Thanks, Roxane, yes, we’re exposing the the naked truth. It takes a great deal of courage to be vulnerable and bare it all, but we’re better for it.
Oh, Mary, how I enjoyed this post from first to last. The photos..boy, I have things that just don’t fit too! And your dear anecdote about a friend.
Yes, I have to purge a boatload of guilt. To use a cliche, I must play the cards given me. My favorite Bible verse has always been, “My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Well, these days, I’ve been pretty weak (hence my absence from teh blogosphere). But in my weakness, I can show God’s glory if I concentrate on Him.
Thanks for this thoughtful and beautiful post. I’ve missed your blog, and hope to be back often.
Gwen, so good to hear from you. I always feel a special spiritual connection to you, the Singer-Scribe, and me the one who Plays off the Page with words and music. Guilt is a useless emotion. Try to shed some today.
How blessed your friend is to have such support in you. And, your post title made me giggle, thanks for that today 🙂
Thanks, Tess! And, yes, I had fun with that phrase.
Hey Mary, bravo! just had to stop by & read your I Left my Bra in Omaha:) Your friend is very courageous & lucky to have people as caring as you in her life! I didn’t actually know what I wanted to speak on this morning until I did a bit of reflection on life,change & starting anew.
Thanks for an inspiring message and for stopping by…keep on dancing:)
what a marvelous friend you are! Seriously. Not many people would uproot themselves like that. I do hope your friend is doing better. Good for her! She’s truly courageous to seek the help she needs to get her life back.
In answer to your question, yes, there are things that are rubbing the wrong way. Unfortunatly they aren’t as easily discarded as a bra! I love your post title! Hilarious 🙂
Hi Mary!this is my 2nd attempt to post to your great & inspiring post “I Left my Bra in Omaha” hope this works because you have to know how grand of a friend you are:) Thanks for your compassion/inspiration and encouragement! Haven’t visited for a moment, seems I have a lot of catching up to do @ Play Off the Page:)
Thnaks for visiting me today as well…seems we’re on the same page…shine on!
Thank you, Clara and Jen. My friend is healing and finding her voice. We both felt renewel from the experience.
Great title for your inspiring post – ladies can relate to the wired undergarments. Include me!!
Thanks, Keats. If things aren’t feeling right underneath, Mama ain’t happy!
Hehe, this post was both funny and thought-provoking! What rubs me the wrong way (besides underwires gone wrong) is when I fill up my life to the point where my “me” time and family time suffer. Sometimes you’ve gotta toss something to make room for better stuff!
Erin, that happens to all of us. Then, it’s time for some for a self-examination.
This insightful post made my morning! Thanks for sharing your enlightening experience, and for giving me some delicious food for thought!
Nicole, Glad to provide an interesting breakfast. Cup of coffee to go with that?
What a beautiful thing you did, Mary! I love the analogy to what we’re wearing and how sometimes we need to shed it, even those things people may not see (maybe, especially those inner things!).
This post made me smile, but it’s also full of insight. Thanks, Mary!
What a wonderful thing you did for your friend (and yourself). I’m sure she appreciated your love and support.
I, too, really liked the analogy. Great food for thought.
Have a wonderful weekend!
What a lovely post and analogy.
You are a great friend. 🙂
Thank you, Shannon and Jennifer. It was a great experience for both of us.
Mary, your blog was beautiful, just as you shine.
Shine on! JeMA
How you honoured your friend . I’m certain that she was tickled to see that you “got something” out of it, sometimes the guilt of being a burden on top of the stress is worse.
Great analogy, and good for you for indulging a bit. It’s just so true.
I think I’ve gotten okay at tending to myself , and try to do for others. It’s a balance.
Lately I’ve been rather ticked off about some weight gain, that is mostly a result of not working as a gardener, or at the nursery. It’s silly and vain, but nags at my mood.
Deb, weight gain nags at everyone’s mood. I need to shed some of that irritation as well!
Love your blog, Mary! Especially liked this article. So glad we connected.